But not these last few days. [[Mother refers to the February 21 darshan. ]]

Yesterday evening (was it yesterday?... No, the day before), when I went out on the balcony-terrace, [[For the first time in a year, Mother appeared on the new balcony above all the assembled disciples. ]] the difference in perception between the consciousness I have now and the one I had before felt enormous! Before, as I have always said, I would stay there, call the Lord, be in His presence, and only when He withdrew would I come in again - that's how it was. And I had a certain relationship with people, things, the outside world ("outside," well, not outside - anyway, the world). The day before yesterday, when I went to the balcony, I wasn't thinking of anything or observing anything, I simply went - I didn't want to know what was going on, it didn't interest me, I wasn't observing.... The other experience [of the previous balcony, one year ago] seemed to go back centuries! It was so much OTHER! And so spontaneous, so natural, and so immense too! ... The earth was tiny. Yet it was very much here: I wasn't "over there," the BODY itself was feeling that way. And at the same time (I was two floors above people), every time I looked, I recognized scores and scores of people, they seemed to leap to my eyes - a crystal clear vision, much sharper (the vision I had before was always a bit hazy because what I saw wasn't entirely physical: I saw the movement of forces), and yesterday, it was as if ... as if I had risen above the very possibility of haziness! It was far less physical - FAR MORE accurate. [[This far less physical vision was more accurate IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD. ]]

Formerly too, I used to sense the Force, the Consciousness, the Power concentrated in a particular point and then spreading out. While here, there was an IMMENSITY of Power, of Light, of Consciousness, of perception, concentrated in a tiny point: the people gathered there.

So colossal a difference that I didn't expect it - I wasn't thinking about it nor was I expecting it. I stayed there as long as it lasted, then at a certain point someone said, "That's enough, they are getting tired." (It wasn't I who said it.) "Enough, they can't take any more." So I came back inside. That's what made me come inside. It lasted five minutes. In five minutes, they were full to bursting.

page 59 , Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 23rd Feb 1963

(Just before the end, Mother comes back to her experience at the balcony:)

The balcony is quite interesting. Because it suddenly made me notice a change I was unaware of. Like a rapid rise I had been completely unaware of. My only awareness is that at EVERY moment, if I stop talking or listening or working, at every moment, it's like ... great beatific wings, as vast as the world, beating slowly, like that.

A feeling of immense wings - not two: all around and stretching out everywhere.

Constantly, night and day. I participate in it only when I am tranquil.

But it never leaves me.

The wings of the Lord.

page 62 , Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 23rd Feb 1963

It was towards the end of March.
No, at the end of March, I came upstairs not to go down again, that was on the 16th, I noted it. I noted it because my [translation] notebook stopped short on that day (!), I put a red mark. [[The following time, Mother added, "On the 16th, I stopped seeing people downstairs, but on the 18th and 20th I went down again for the balcony: those were the last two times.

page 93 , Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 23rd March 1963

Something still remained (but not as strong as that), something remained when I went to the balcony [in the afternoon of the 24th]. At the balcony I was different from what I usually am. I don't exactly know what it was. But then, the photographs are very different; there is something in the photographs that wasn't there before. There was a special atmosphere.


page 121 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 27th April - 1967

Did something happen on the 4th?
That is what happened.

And a constant Presence the whole day long.

I tell you, it started like that in the morning, as if I had been stunned for the day - I no longer existed.

It's like that all the time: the Force at work, the Force at work, the Force at work ... all the time like that, constantly, nothing but the Force at work. That's what I told you the other day [the two vibrations], it's like that. But all the time, all the time. At the balcony, constantly, constantly: the Force at work, the Force at work ... Nothing remains except that.

And as there is a large crowd, it does a lot of work.

But at the balcony (and even before, in the morning when that ball of lightning came), there was a very special concentration on you. But that, I don't know, it's for you to say. If you felt something, so much the better!


page 137 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 6th May - 1967

Since the 15th of August, since that experience at the balcony, [[The "golden peace." ]] it has become very clear.


page 301 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 20th Sep - 1967